Top Ten Christmas Miracles of 2011
Posted on December 27th, 2011
The Holiday Season has been so good to me that I almost expect it’s up to something. You know that feeling you get when your Significant Other unexpectedly treats you to a super special dinner and in the back of your cynical little mind you think, “Is he boinking the blonde in accounting?” Or when your boss gives you lavish praise and you wonder, “Am I on the list for lay offs?” Yeah- Christmas has been that kind of good. Some would say it was a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!
No ghosts came to escort me through portals of time and I spent no time conversing with an angel named Clarence. They are small miracles I suppose but none the less they are mine.
Christmas miracle #1: My four-year old son bought my “Giving is Better than Receiving” shtick.
Trying to teach Leo about giving, I volunteered us to buy Christmas for two children in need. Wonderful in theory but in practical application, it can be rather difficult to talk a child into buying toys for OTHER children.
In the days leading up to the shopping trip I talked excitedly about how much fun we would have being elves. I have learned that talking about chores, vegetables and other “undesirables” with as much enthusiasm as possible can be helpful with children. It’s tricky though, kids might be all, “Brocoli, hell yeah!” However they are just as likely to look at you like you’re an idiot and refuse. In this case the tactic was working pretty well until the morning of the shopping trip.
“Are you excited about our trip later today? We get to be elves! Giving to those kids is going to make them sooooo happy and that’s what Christmas is all about!” I squealed.
“No it’s NOT Momma. Christmas is about getting toys and trucks and, and . . . and BOUNCY BALLS!” My son hollers.
Who says Bouncy Balls? Did Charles Dickens make an appearance at Leo’s daycare that I was unaware of?
Perhaps he just had not had enough Cheerios or juice that morning because when the time for Target rolled around he was in a significantly brighter mood. Still, lets not kid ourselves, I was walking into a potential hellish situation.
Boy was I wrong. He was an absolute angel. He spent some time looking at toys I knew he would give his left chubby cheek for but he never once asked for a toy for himself. His excitement grew as he helped me pick out all the gifts. He knew just what to get the little boy. He was less certain about the little girl, at one point he stopped in his tracks and loudly said, “Uh, don’t girls like THAT?” Pointing an accusing finger at a Hello Kitty toaster oven.
I was beaming with pride as we checked out and by the time I loaded up the toys in the trunk I was doing that crazy happy cry thing I do sometimes.
From the back seat Leo asks me, “Momma, why are you all stiffly?”
“I am so proud of you Leo! You did something that many adults (myself included) have a hard time doing.”
“Oh, but why are you crying?”
“Sometimes when grown ups are very happy they cry.”
“Momma, sometimes grown ups are silly.”
Christmas miracle #2: My Baby’s Daddy and I took our son to see Santa . . . together.
That’s right. Together. Was it awkward? Only slightly. We actually got along and may, I mean may have even shared a laugh or two. I left patting myself on the back for being such a mature human being, and thinking we may have a snowball’s chance in hell at getting along.
#3 My four-year olds wavering belief in Santa was completely restored.
#4 Fiance became one of those slightly creepy, yet magical Elf on the Shelf parents.
#5 No one got food poisoning from the Chinese food that by all practical purposes should have landed us in the hospital.
#6 I spent an entire holiday season with out getting down in the mouth about my dysfunctional family and was not once haunted by the ghost of Christmas past.
#7 XXX’s The Most Interesting Man in the world holiday ad campaign. One word: Brilliant!
#8 I hand crafted my Christmas gifts to Fiance and they didn’t suck!!
#9 I somehow managed to never set foot into a post office or mall.
#10 On Christmas Eve my son climbs out of the bath tub and as I wrap him up in a towel he looks at me with his enormous chocolate eyes and says, “Momma, sometimes I think I have so much love in my heart that it will grow and grow, like the Grinch’s heart. Only my heart will keep growing and it will just explode love all over you.”
I can feel myself raise my eyebrows. What is he up to? Does he want something? Another cookie, more stories, to open a Christmas gift? I brush the thought away like a snowflake from my shoulder and I pull him to me tightly.
“Sometimes I think mine will too.” I tell him as one of my dumb happy tears rolls down my cheek and on to his back.
I guess miracles are not up to anything after all.
Annnnd, because if you know me you know that I heart George Michael. It would not be Christmas with out this:
Peace out Christmas.